A crazy person's prison cell . . .

Since Mulysa was so keen on seeing my Superman dollies, here's a quick snippet . . .



The huge one in the center is of course my favorite. Given by Wifey back in 98. A sign of **TRUE LOVE***. Looked all so lonesome by itself, so naturally I had to buy others to keep it company. To the left of this picture would be my other DC Superheroes. To the upper right are my Marvel and other associated figures. Space is always an issue. I might have to build some shelves on the wall with the paintings for more dolly space. Plus, the size of my graphic novel collection shows no sign of slowing down. So I have to account for that space. The life of a geek with money . . . ugh.

Let's call a 'baby' a spade

So there's another baby wave at my workplace. And with that wave comes the unavoidable 'oh-so-happy-billowy-clouds-puppy dogs and ribbons-sweetness and light' goo goo talk that permeates every overheard hallway/lunchroom conversation.

ugh.

this is why i shut out the world with my ipod. there's no denying it. i'm a misanthrope.

now, for full disclosure, i too am subject to this talk . . . having a baby and all tends to do that to ya . . . but at least i can step back and think about the messiness which seems to be the 'elephant in the room that everyone ignores' in this process. Giving birth is a painful , messy matter. Everyone seems to deny this essential part of birth and frankly i get disgusted by it. It hypocritical and i think we should all get real about this life event.

i mean was it all sweetness and light during the conception too? NO. My guess is there was a lot of grunting, much "oh, oh, oh"ing, maybe a head banging against a headboard and the repeated sound of of a wet boot caught in the mud (kudos to comedian Dave Attell for that metaphor).

Does anyone remember that?

Signs I'm getting old . . .

1. I'm actually very happy that the Mira Mesa Toys 'R Us store is converting into a Babies 'R Us store. This means I can get valuable supplies for my baby and future baby showers without having to trek out to San Marcos!


2. The prospect of a new Prince album and tour doesn't exactly thrill me. My current lack of energy for things not worthy plays a big part into this. Don't get me wrong, I'll still get the new album and bitch if I end up with ONLY second row seats at his concerts. However, the fact of the matter is that his best music is behind him. His newest musical output hasn't lit under my cockles like they used to.


3. My younger cousins are approaching their thirties. Damn, I knew these kids when they were still sh#t##g in their poopie diapers. Now they're going for graduate degrees and buying ME liquor? Dammmnn.


4. I'm listening to more house / electronica music then ever before Don't have the brainpower anymore to think about what I'm listening to. I prefer my music to be in the background these days. Basically I want my life to feel like I'm driving in a car commercial.


5. Screg is actually shopping in the men's section. Time has taken away one of my more reliable comedic staples. My saying: "When in doubt, take the 'Scregie shops in boys' section' bit out!" Sorry Screg, but you're taking way too long with that 'raw vs. rare' blog and i'm desparate!! I'll take it out the moment your blog appears . . . I promise!!!!

this just in . . . i peed clear this morning, then had 3 cups of coffee and consequently peed mountain dew yellow.

that is all.

i'm tired but productive and boring

i should be asleep. i get to drive the baby to two different medical appointments tomorrow. driving down to sd in the morning and 9 month shots in the afternoon. yum! yum! however, i've spent two precious hours tonight on 'me' time. this night's project is making some progress on a large-scale update of my art website: adding new photos and comics, rethinking some designs, debating whether i should add some closeup details of art, wondering if i should continue to use popups, figuring out the best way to include / link to this blog on my site . . . things like that. this update realistically won't see the light of day until 3 or 4 months from now. hopefully, i'll have some time tomorrow to work on a blog strip i want to include for the update and some photoshop color comps for the next door neighbor's painting commission.

i've slowly been warning wifey about the time commitment involved with the play i'll be working on next month. i've told the director that i probably won't be able to come down to san diego often, but he seems fine with email contact and ftp file uploads. i have the well founded fear that i've bitten off more than I can chew, but this could be a real cool thing if everything goes right. the last time i was involved with set design was back in 2000; i'm eager to get back into it. imagine my wild and crazy color sensiblities exploding everywhere on a stage . . . that's the basic challenge laid to me . . . how to be crazy enough to add that special 'spice' to a play, but not so crazy as to distract from it. the elton john show in vegas is guilty of this. the rear projection videos that accompany elton have a tendency to take the attention away from his wonderful music.

i've spent a majority of work time last week helping formulate my company's policy towards blogging and podcasting. i was warning that doing a daily blog can be a damned daily grind and that the main denizens of the blogosphere are yahoos like myself and you good people, who use it as a more personalized 'bulletin board' of sorts. we are pursuing the podcast angle though, setting up a series of audio interviews in early may, another example of potentially biting off more than i can chew.

now that i've bored everyone endlessly with my stupid thoughts, i can now sleep in peace.

two quick thoughts

hey, i know. i know what y'all saying. right now. "hey, whassup with kilatzin writing another post? why doesn't wait for one month like he usually does?"

well, cuz i have two issues running through my noggin that i absolutely have to get out.

1) Pitt and Jolie are prego. GOOD. anyone (and that's mainly you yenta-women-out-there-who-watch-the-view) who couldn't fathom why pitt would leave anniston . . . THAT'S WHY. you-who-love-anniston always convieniently forget that SHE didn't want to have children. HE did. Not only did he find someone to bear his seed, he found AN UBERBABE to provide the fertile soil for him to toil!!! and (you yenta-women-out-there-who-watch-the-view are gonna hate this) the odds are that a PITT-JOLIE baby will look at least TWICE AS HOT as a PITT-ANNISTON product. The only people in the world who could top PITT and JOLIE as gene donors would be Superman and Wonder Woman. YES I KNOW THEY'RE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS!!! THAT'S THE POINT YOU STAR-JONES-SYCOPHANT LOSERS!!!!!!


Let me make a modest little proposal. Why not just end both their movie careers right now and just put them out to stud? Sire a whole new generation of acting racehorses. I believe that both their best races/movies are already behind them. Is there really going to be a better movie than "fight club?" do we really need another "tomb raider" sequel? not to belabor the racehorse analogy, but let's ship them off to some nice secluded farm or resort out there; somewhere where the hectic demands of a career as a movie celebrity is far behind them. let clooney and robert make all the movies of substance. they've still got a couple of good flicks in them. i mean what's more important: another crappy flick that no one will give a damn about, or getting in on the ground floor of developing a new master race?


2)This Stern on satellite radio thing SUCKS!!!!! If I had a guarantee that the hard earned money i plunk down on a radio and a subscription would actually work, then i would divest it in a heartbeat. but all evidence points to the fact that the stupid satellite signal can not penetrate my stupid office building. and my stupid work internet connection BLOCKS streaming Sirius content. STUPID STUPID STUPID. I had satellite tv once and i always lost the signal whenever a strong rainstorm hit my area. give me the access and i'll give you my money. now i gotta listen to adam corolla, who on his best day, is just another radio guy. a funny one, but maybe a head above the rest of the pack on a GOOD day.

ugh.

Year 2005 End Wrap Up

I'm currently taking a ten minute break from endless lead entering for a particularly successful online promotion. Now is the perfect time for a random blog entry.

Seems a great majority of the current blog conversation revolves around ameditation concerning the pros & cons, the flows & ebbs of the previous year. Since I've always considered myself crafty enough to surf a wave coming my way, and not drown in it, I'll bite and drop in my own personal assessment.

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Okay, just got back from dealing with a minor work emergency. Now seems to be the perfect time for a random blog entry.

Okay. Personal assessment time.

BIG CHANGES this year. No real surprise to any of the blog regulars, I suppose. The cliches that accompany the arrival of a new baby are true; that's why they're labeled "cliches." However, here's one VERY unexpected consequence . . . my art is much less "angry" now. There's less of the angst and disturbance that marked my earlier output. I wouldn't call it necessarily more peaceful. There's definitely still a semblance of the dark and ambivalent undercurrent that permeates my work. I wouldn't even say that my general anger towards everything has lessened. But the quality that some would label as "disturbing" or "confrontational" has definitely toned down.

Part of it certainly stems from the fact that a baby drains most of the anger out of you. It takes an incredible amount of energy to sustain a strong "mad-on" towards a particular target. It's much harder to drum up that energy when you consider a 5 hour block of uninterrupted sleep a "luxury." Even if I'm not particularly sleepy, my brainpower is definitely at a low ebb these days. The most I can handle these days is an episode of "Survivor" or a quick play of "NBA 2K5" on my Xbox. (As a sidenote, I told a coworker about my current schedule and he remarked to me, 'if what you're saying is true . . . that means you spend at least 18- 20 hours a day awake.')

Another part seems to be the fact that I'm a greedy whore who is looking to start selling some work to pay for my comic book and Howard Stern obsessions. Nothing stung me as much last year as my inability to go to the San Diego Comicon. A close second of disappointment would have to be NOT getting a SIRIUS satellite radio for Stern. I can listen in my car, but would have trouble accessing the satellite signal from work. Still, I'm amazed by how quickly I will sell out my artistic sensibility to buy something like the hardcover "JLA/Avengers" compendium.

A third thing is that if I must be honest with myself, then I do feel a need to be "shown" more. Fact of the matter is that most people consider the art of painting as a form of interior decorating. Only a few would really have my paint splattered battles of the id, ego and superego covering their walls. That doesn't mean I'll paint cute little puppies frolicking in the flowers, but for a hefty amount of change, I'll definitely consider it. Especially now that the Xbox 360 is out. If I have to produce work that is less "me" than usual, so be it. This year is just beginning, but I'm closing a sale on one painting, verbally agreed to a second commission and should be working as a set designer for a play to be performed in April. It's still a little early and these deals just very well may blow up in my face, but hey, there's nothing new about that.

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Where was I? Oh, yeah, I'm going to sleep!!!!