Let's call a 'baby' a spade
So there's another baby wave at my workplace. And with that wave comes the unavoidable 'oh-so-happy-billowy-clouds-puppy dogs and ribbons-sweetness and light' goo goo talk that permeates every overheard hallway/lunchroom conversation.
ugh.
this is why i shut out the world with my ipod. there's no denying it. i'm a misanthrope.
now, for full disclosure, i too am subject to this talk . . . having a baby and all tends to do that to ya . . . but at least i can step back and think about the messiness which seems to be the 'elephant in the room that everyone ignores' in this process. Giving birth is a painful , messy matter. Everyone seems to deny this essential part of birth and frankly i get disgusted by it. It hypocritical and i think we should all get real about this life event.
i mean was it all sweetness and light during the conception too? NO. My guess is there was a lot of grunting, much "oh, oh, oh"ing, maybe a head banging against a headboard and the repeated sound of of a wet boot caught in the mud (kudos to comedian Dave Attell for that metaphor).
Does anyone remember that?
Labels: musings
posted by Kilatzin @ 10:02 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
heyyyyy...
are you saying that sex has something to do with having babies???
DAMN IT!! why didn't anyone tell me before?!
THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!!!!!
When I see a pregnant woman, I do go "awww. isn't that sweet?" But I also go "Here is undisputable evidence that this woman F###S."
Like I said, maybe it's a reaction to all this cutesy crap, but I don't like how everyone just focuses in on just this one side of the issue.
Kinda like how there are 2 sides to Columbus Day. Sure he represents the beginning of European influence over the Americas' affairs. Sure he's also the symbol of the subjugation of the indigenous peoples of the Americas. Both are true . . . good and bad.
To be fair, I remember pregnancy to be a somewhat terrifying time in one respect. I was supremely paranoid about wifey's physical and mental state. Something could go wrong any second and I was always on the lookout for that. Maybe this mass denial is a tonic for the imminent diasasters that could happen.
But again, I draw upon my hatred of the pollyanna bullshit.
HELP! I NEED THERAPY!!!!
Misanthrope-One who hates or distrusts mankind.
Okay,... I'll buy that...
Hear here, Superman. Ronin is in complete agreement with you. Babies are so beautiful, but it's absolutely taboo to talk about how they got here. Go figure. God said: "Go and be fruitful". [Just make sure you don't talk about it.]
Soapbox ScregMan is soooooooooo tempted to get on his soapbox, especially when words like "misanthrope" and "hypocritical" appear in the same blog...
But not today...
BTW. You don't need therapy, but our species does need a good, deep, solid kick in the butt. And when that kick does come, Ronin will be laughing... laughing... laughing...
to be honest, i'd rather hear cutesy crap than , "damn girl, bet you had fun makin' that baby!"
once, when i was 8 mos along with my 2nd, (or was it my 3rd?) i was just out of the dr.'s office and getting ready to cross into the parking lot to get to my car. a big monster truck with these 2 guys were in it. the passanger leaned out his window and hollered at me, "damn! you got twins in there or what?!"
i'm sure i didn't look very cutesy or pollyanna like as i flipped them the bird and yelled, "f##k you!" back at them...
balance.
i also hated going to the park or any place where there were other moms, and they'd all get to yapping about mommy stuff that was sooo annoying. pacifiers, clothes, misc baby gab. a sure way to avoid all of that was to say that i'd never been to baby gap, or gymboree or where ever, i usually shop thrift stores for baby clothes, and have no problem getting yucky poopy mess on me...
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