Year 2005 End Wrap Up
I'm currently taking a ten minute break from endless lead entering for a particularly successful online promotion. Now is the perfect time for a random blog entry.
Seems a great majority of the current blog conversation revolves around ameditation concerning the pros & cons, the flows & ebbs of the previous year. Since I've always considered myself crafty enough to surf a wave coming my way, and not drown in it, I'll bite and drop in my own personal assessment.
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Okay, just got back from dealing with a minor work emergency. Now seems to be the perfect time for a random blog entry.
Okay. Personal assessment time.
BIG CHANGES this year. No real surprise to any of the blog regulars, I suppose. The cliches that accompany the arrival of a new baby are true; that's why they're labeled "cliches." However, here's one VERY unexpected consequence . . . my art is much less "angry" now. There's less of the angst and disturbance that marked my earlier output. I wouldn't call it necessarily more peaceful. There's definitely still a semblance of the dark and ambivalent undercurrent that permeates my work. I wouldn't even say that my general anger towards everything has lessened. But the quality that some would label as "disturbing" or "confrontational" has definitely toned down.
Part of it certainly stems from the fact that a baby drains most of the anger out of you. It takes an incredible amount of energy to sustain a strong "mad-on" towards a particular target. It's much harder to drum up that energy when you consider a 5 hour block of uninterrupted sleep a "luxury." Even if I'm not particularly sleepy, my brainpower is definitely at a low ebb these days. The most I can handle these days is an episode of "Survivor" or a quick play of "NBA 2K5" on my Xbox. (As a sidenote, I told a coworker about my current schedule and he remarked to me, 'if what you're saying is true . . . that means you spend at least 18- 20 hours a day awake.')
Another part seems to be the fact that I'm a greedy whore who is looking to start selling some work to pay for my comic book and Howard Stern obsessions. Nothing stung me as much last year as my inability to go to the San Diego Comicon. A close second of disappointment would have to be NOT getting a SIRIUS satellite radio for Stern. I can listen in my car, but would have trouble accessing the satellite signal from work. Still, I'm amazed by how quickly I will sell out my artistic sensibility to buy something like the hardcover "JLA/Avengers" compendium.
A third thing is that if I must be honest with myself, then I do feel a need to be "shown" more. Fact of the matter is that most people consider the art of painting as a form of interior decorating. Only a few would really have my paint splattered battles of the id, ego and superego covering their walls. That doesn't mean I'll paint cute little puppies frolicking in the flowers, but for a hefty amount of change, I'll definitely consider it. Especially now that the Xbox 360 is out. If I have to produce work that is less "me" than usual, so be it. This year is just beginning, but I'm closing a sale on one painting, verbally agreed to a second commission and should be working as a set designer for a play to be performed in April. It's still a little early and these deals just very well may blow up in my face, but hey, there's nothing new about that.
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Where was I? Oh, yeah, I'm going to sleep!!!!
Labels: art, family, musings, yearly review
posted by Kilatzin @ 9:25 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
i have to agree with about kid(s) sapping the anger and energy right out of you.
i noticed my whole outlook on life has become the expressions, "f*ck it..", "damn t", "nevermind", "how the hell?" and "WTF?!"
and as far you your art goes...
i would totally pay to see what your morbid mind conjures up if i commission you to paint me kitties in a basket...
so nice to see your long awaited post, clark. ;)
i fear the wrath of emilf with full energy stores. always seemed like she had energy to spare.
as for my blog per 2 month friend... i can imagine K's head on the verge of implosion in attempting to do a not-from-K piece. would indeed be interesting to see the result.
Superman. Your blogs are so far and between that it's always a pleasant surprise to visit your blog and see something new...
If I may ask, what is a "minor work emergency" for you? I've been trying to think of emergencies I've experienced at work. Many, many, many years ago, we received a bomb threat and had to evacuate. We evacuated the building, but not the school. Go figure. I don't think I've had any emergencies lately. Just minor skirmishes with students...
I too watch Survivor, but strictly for the sociological aspects... and the drama... and the backstabbing... Hey, the bottom line is that it's a game and a million dollars is at stake. OUTWIT, OUTPLAY, OUTLAST. Them's the rules. It surprises me how people's "loyalties" become torn as Survivor progresses. Playing for a million, ya gotta be cut-throat...
One of my rough drafts for a future blog is about art. My uneducated and "lay-man's" interpretation of the entire world of art. Tell me, do you feel compromised when money enters the picture?
Screg - Hell yeah I feel compromised when money enters the picture. But I've had to learn the hard way that even among artists, money is validation. It's not necessarily HOW much money is changing hands, but the fact that money IS involved sends a signal to everybody that you and your work has value.
And when you have value, you are taken more seriously.
I suppose it's not that much different aesthetically from putting a value on a basketball player's value. How logical is it to place a number on a guy's ability to throw a ball into a hoop, or another guy's ability to draw a naked woman?
There are two different levels or categories of value in play here, monetary and spiritual (for lack of a better word). Both should be separate from one another, but realistically can't.
To put it another way, if I give a painting to someone, I let it be known that this is something I usually would consider selling. The fact that I'm giving it to you is kinda like a covenant of sorts. I hate to sound all self-righteous about this, but I'm placing my values and sensibilities on the line when I display work publicly. If I don't show it has value, no one else will.
More on satellite radio later.
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