Thoughts on Being a Filipino American Artist
Every so often, I receive an interview request centering on my thoughts about my artwork, being a Filipino-American or both. Here are my answers to the latest interview request:
Tell me a little about yourself, most especially anything you feel would help in understanding you as a Filipino artist.
I was born in what was Clark Air Force base in the Philippines. My family immigrated to the United States when I was three months old. For all intents and purposes, I’m an American of Filipino ethnicity. My artwork generally depicts an internal, subconscious attempt to deal to with the aspects and circumstances of my life. I’m sure my Filipino identity plays a part in that psychological mix.
As a very successful Filipino, do you feel a responsibility to be a role model for younger acquaintances, friends, and relatives?
I’ve been pondering that question a lot lately. I’ve felt that responsibility in a broader, social/communal sense and expressed it by organizing different Filipino ethnic-themed events and scholarships, etc. However, I’ve ignored my responsibility as a personal role model to my friends and relatives. I ashamedly blame it on my own lack of self-esteem and an abundance of myopic selfishness. I’ve discovered that being a role model is not something you choose for yourself; it’s something that’s subtly and organically bestowed on you by others. You can be blissfully unaware of being a role mode, but it’s a natural byproduct of your life’s path. You do not exist in a vacuum. To ignore the effect you have on others could be damaging, if you don’t weigh the consequences of your words and actions.
After looking at all of your wonderful artwork, it seems that your work often represents an intersection between self-expression and Filipino culture. In this role, do you feel you are trying to promote a Filipino culture that is dying out via assimilation and apathy? Or do you feel that you’re giving direction and leadership to a Filipino culture that is very much thriving?
As an artist, I simply try to express my feelings, subconscious thoughts and state of mind. That being said, one should understand that culture is not a static exclusive entity; it is an always changing and thriving thing that greatly informs an artist’s output. Change is about transformation. Change will happen with or without you. You can comment on trends, or try to influence them; but you must accept the fact that the tides of culture will usually be stronger than an individual’s effort. I was involved with a community arts group that promoted the idea it was okay for the Filipino-American community to express themselves in any way or mode they see fit. Keeping traditional artistic expressions alive, while admirable and worthwhile, should not be the only way of keeping a vibrant culture. You keep the culture alive simply by being, simply by living.
What do you feel is the most central factor to Filipino culture (examples include: language, kinship, food, Catholicism, tradition, multiethnic heritage)? And how do you feel your art has fared in enriching the understanding of this central factor?
Out of the list that you’ve mentioned in the question, the most central factor, in my mind, would have to be the culture’s multiethnic heritage. From my limited studies, I came away with the impression that the Philippines was a political designation, not necessarily one of common experience and identity. In a strange way, I’m an extension of that heritage. What is more multiethnic than being an American these days?
Do you consider yourself Filipino? Or American? Or some combination thereof?
I am an American who had to discover if his Filipino heritage had any bearings outside of his familial ties, and then decide how that played into his everyday life.
In consideration of how you identify yourself, have you ever been criticized for being “too Filipino” or “too American”? What was that experience like? Additionally, have you ever been called the derogatory terms attached to these extremes? Such as 'FOB' or ‘white-washed’?
Fortunately, I grew up with others who more or less lived the under the same circumstances I did, so there was never any aspersions of those types cast. If there were any ethnic tensions, they were never about how ‘Filipino’ someone was or wasn’t. The social tensions came from living in two different worlds: the working class neighborhoods I lived in vs. the middle class high school I attended.
What is your relationship with your parents like? Do you think their exists a generational gap between you and them?
Of course, there's a generational gap between my parents and I. They’re not my peers; they’re my parents. We see things very differently from one another and both sides make decisions the other doesn’t generally agree with. That being said, my wife and I make it a point to visit my parents at least once a month. We’re now at the stage in our relationship where I think they depend on me, more than I them. If there’s anything they need help with, they know they can rely on me.
Do your parents put pressure on you in any way (examples include: pressuring you to practice Catholicism, pressuring you to speak Tagalog or another dialect)? What of these pressures do you choose to follow or reject? How much influence does your parent’s desires carry in how you live your life?
My parents were all about pressures and expectations. I’ve spent my life trying to meet their desires on my own terms. For example, I persuaded my parents to let me enroll at a high school that had an accelerated academic curriculum, although the school’s real draw for me was its performing arts program. I graduated from college with a double degree majoring in sociology and art; choosing Sociology for my parents and Art for myself. My parents wanted me to marry a Filipina in a Catholic Church ceremony. I married a Vietnamese woman in a non-denominational ceremony in a Unitarian church. I find it funny, however, that as much I’ve struggled to live my own life, I’ve ended up in a marriage that mimics the dynamics of my parents’ own relationship. I see my parents in me more than ever; however I’m learning how to accept that fact and not fight it with the same fervor I did in my younger years.
What languages do you speak? If you are multilingual, which do you prefer speaking and why?
Just English. My parents were discouraged by school officials from teaching Tagalog or Pangasinan, citing fears of confusing me. This was a common school of thought back in the seventies.
In what other ways do you learn more about Filipino culture (examples include: literature, dance, etc)?
Mainly from family and the news. I did learn more actively about the culture when I was involved with planning community events.
Do you keep in contact with any relatives in the Philippines?
Most of my relatives have immigrated over the United States.
Do you try to stay aware of the political situation in the Philippines? If so, through what means?
As I’ve stated before, my political and social outlook is primarily American. I will be more interested in news coming out of the Philippines, than say Bosnia, but I don’t have a heavily invested interest in my homeland. My parents will tell me stories of their recent visits to the Philippines, which focuses more small town local politics and society, but that’s about it.
Lastly, please tell me something about yourself that you feel relevant and that has not been addressed above.
What I've come to realize is that, in the end, all that really matters in this life is finding happiness in what you do and in the people you love. Everything else doesn't matter quite as much.
posted by Kilatzin @ 10:24 AM
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