Year in Review: 2006

Hello Everyone,

I know it might seem a little early for a year in review blog, but there's only about 5 or so weeks left in 2006. Unless something really amazing happens in that short span, I pretty much have a good handle on an assessment of this year.

2006 sucked. Sucked huge donkey balls. Huge pus-filled boil-covered donkey testes.

I don't want to go for a pity or a "whoa is me, look at my horrible life" angle. I don't want to glamorize this year as some epic struggle. However, I do feel very justified in saying that I've had better years. Empirically, how can I even pretend that it was wonderful and great? "Boy, I can't wait to do that again!" It sucked. No question. I thought 1995 sucked royally. Hoo boy, not compared to 2006. Wow.

I will say that the suckiness has one common thread (and a somewhat fortunate one I guess) : I wasn't affected by it firsthand, but it definitely happened to those close around me.

Let's get the obvious stomach blow out of the way: my sister dying. Here's something of a disclaimer: I wrote two long paragraphs in this blog about the affect her death had on me personally, but I went ahead and deleted them. Why? I'm having trouble finding the right words to articulate this grief. Life has gone on in blazing speed around me and I haven't had a chance to catch a breath. The public mourning has come and gone. That I had a better handle with. That I could view as a job that needed to be done, and I approached it with a level of comfortable detachment. Now, I'm left with my own thoughts and they aren't pretty and light, that's for sure. Outwardly, I'm chugging along, but inwardly i'm barely treading water. I can't describe it any better than that and not seem maudlin, sentimental, self-serving . . . it's just that things have changed . . . i can't clearly communicate how though . . . maybe it's too soon to say anything.

My wife's cousin died of stomach cancer earlier this year, leaving behind 4 children, one of them only several months old. She was a baby making machine and surprisingly, it was the babies that have kept her alive that long. Once the kids were born though, the cancer had room to take over. She wasn't my favorite person . . . well actually it's her husband that I had the HUGE problem with, but as a couple, they were a fundamentalist, born-again Catholic couple who steadfastly devoted their lives to the Church and were aghast that I was a lapsed Catholic. They tried to convert me back to the old ways, and were appalled when I declined their offer. So much so, her husband and I argued over the color of smoke that's released before and after a new pope is chosen. That was a new low in pettiness from a man who wallows in such trivial quagmire.

On top of that: my mother, brother and mother-in-law all had extensive, multiple-day emergency room/hospital stays for various ailments. Wifey also has somewhat debilitating back trouble, prompting me to broker a semi-unofficial part-time work from home arrangement with my employer. I get to stay at home and play a larger role in baby’s care. Wifey gets the time and space she needs to get better. I worry about her constantly.

My goddaughter has already hit double digits in age. I worry about her education and the fear we're not doing enough to help her. I've started talking "old man" to her, trying to prepare her for life as a teenager and an adult without seeming too paranoid or pessimistic. My son is growing up. The boy is just too damn cute for words. He’s already hoarding his fruit the way I treasure my bacon and steak. It’s very heartwarming to see how some traits get passed down in surprisingly different ways. “The son becomes the father, and the father becomes the son” type of thing. And that was your obligatory Superman reference. Things remain the same, but different. Beyond that, life is relatively stable: I have a wonderful family, a nice home, a comfortable lifestyle we can afford. My life is something I dreamed of having, but never thought I would be lucky enough to actually get.

So perhaps it wasn't a good or a bad year. Maybe it's just life.